Expectation – How It Works And Why It Can Trip You Up In Sales And In Life!

Goethe said “Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you’ll help them to become what they are capable of becoming.” In other words, expect the best and generally speaking that’s what you’ll get!

We all have expectations whether good or bad. We all have them. Those expectations create our initial response. After al,l we have nothing else but previous experience and the expectation that creates on which to base our response.

Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on the expectation) our expectations can become self fulfilling prophesies. This is where they can trip us up. If our expectations are for success then generally speaking we will be successful. On the other hand, if we expect to fail, then that too is the likely outcome.

But how does this work? How does a mind set have such a powerful effect on the outcome of a future event? Imagine that you are in a relationship and it’s progressed enough for you to meet your partners Mother. The last time you met a partner’s mother it was a disaster and was instrumental in ending the relationship.

This is the previous experience you’ve had with this situation and, even if you don’t consciously think about it, your subconscious will have already sorted through it’s files of ‘like experiences’ and sent up a warning flag that the last time this situation occurred you got hurt.

So, you have a low level anxiety going on which your partner notices and quizzes you about. You have no conscious awareness of this anxiety or where it comes from so your reply is that nothing is wrong.

Now your partner can spot the body language clues that show your discomfort and begin to wonder and worry if you’re happy with the relationship and so tries to talk about it. You, still unaware of the signals your subconscious is sending out, dismiss the need to talk. You begin to wonder why your partner is being so difficult and start to think about the upcoming meeting and to worry that perhaps there is something your partner is not telling you. You start to worry about the meeting, thinking back to the last time you were in a similar situation. You now consciously begin to expect things to go wrong.

You can see the pattern developing. By the time you get to the meeting both you and your partner are worried, both trying to act normally. But the mother, being a mother, senses that all is not right and naturally looks at you as the cause; you decipher her concern as a direct attack and the meeting does not go well.

How would it have turned out if your expectations had been different? If you’d spoken about your worries as soon as they came into your conscious awareness, your partner could have assured you that this time it would be different. The mother you were meeting this time was a loving and friendly woman who only wanted her child to be happy, who was open minded and never judged on appearances.

You may then have lost your anxiety enough to tell the mother that you were nervous because you'really loved your partner and wanted her to be happy and knowing how important the mother was, you wanted to make a good impression.

What mother could resist?

You may think this has nothing to do with sales - but think again! We all sell, everyday, we sell ourselves as potential mates, friends, employees, employers and advisers to name just a few.

We sell our ideas and opinions as well as our excuses and reasons, expectation can work for you or against you, so make sure you use it to work for you!