10 Ways To Make Your Illness Support Group Uplifting

If you have a chronic illness or live with chronic pain, it's highly likely that you have attended a support group at least one time since your diagnosis. Did the experience go something like this?

Despite feeling exhausted and in pain, you decided you would attend the group anyways. By the time you got there you were running late, couldn't find the suite number, and finally just parked and hiked to an upstairs room in a dark wing of the hospital. You quietly found a seat, a hard, sticky seat. People smiled at you, but soon they got back to their discussion and it seemed no one was feeling encouraged by it. They argued over the side effects of medicine being worth the benefits, two people tried to convince you to buy a juicer from them, and soon you were ready to run screaming from the room. It's too depressing!

Aren't support groups supposed to be a valuable coping tool?

The answer is yes! Studies completed by Dr. David Spiegel have concluded that support groups do in fact improve the quality of life of those who are willing to attend. Recent studies (CANCER, Sept 2007) have show that support groups do not actually increase the lifespan of one who lives with cancer. But regardless, by having one's feelings about her illness validated, her skills of coping with chronic illness are definitely more improved.

You may have attended a support group in the past or perhaps you are looking for leadership ideas for one you are starting. Regardless of how long you have (or have not) participated in one, it's likely that you've seen how quickly the groups can move from being an honest and sharing place to a session of complaints and even quarreling. Would you like some fresh icebreaker games for small groups to perk people up?

Here are 10 ideas to help create some humor and joy in your support group. You can evade some of those bitter moments that can so easily come out in conversation about illness. Some simple planning can make you feel enthused about your next get together. These ideas will work for any groups, from a Rhode Island support group for CFS to a diabetes support group for those in Marion County, Florida. And they a great tool to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group.

1. Before your meeting, cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them on each side of a stick or a plastic knife. When everyone goes around the room to share about their experiences or emotions of the week, ask people to make sure they are able to hold up both "faces'. For example, Beth may say, "I'm not looking forward to my joint replacement surgery and all the rehab afterward" while holding up the sad side of the stick. And then she flips it to think of something positive to say "I feel blessed though, that the insurance is covering a lot of the expenses and my friends have volunteered to help take care of my children."

2. Rethink your concept of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, have everyone bring things for a JOY box and then have everyone choose something to take with them out of it at each meeting. It could be a rubber frog, a favorite poem, a note someone sent, an encouraging book, a silly or sentimental DVD. Have everyone return them by the next meeting to share again.

3. Be goofy together with ice breakers for small groups. Make up a fun, corny theme song to start each meeting, or pick a tune everyone knows and make up new lyrics. Check out comedian Anita Renfroe's website for some terrific examples that will leave you in stitches.

4. Find some goofy props to bring to your meeting. Don't make anyone feel they must use or wear them. (Forcing someone to wear bug antennas may scare them away for good.) But make sure they are available to encourage light-hearted moments before discussing the depressing reasons you are there. You can find hundreds of items for a reasonable price at Oriental Trading Supply.

5. Don't let the group turn into a venting session for one member who insists dominating the conversation. There is often someone who insists on sharing details about diagnosis, treatments, complaints, family troubles etc. If you have someone who fits this description, implement a policy to set a timer. Make it fun by telling people they have 60 seconds to get anything off their chest and they can talk as fast as they want. Does someone want to share about a new alternative treatment? Give him/her a limited time like 1 -2 minutes and then invite people to ask for more details after the meeting.

6. Ask everyone to bring an encouraging item to include in a gift basket for someone in need who is either unable to attend the group or not even a member. Put your heads together about what kinds of items to include. You can find over five-hundred simple ideas in the book "Beyond Casseroles." Remember personal notes mean a lot, even from people you don't know, so ask people to write a sentence or two to include with the item.

7. Plan a fun evening for the group. If everyone wants a nice sit down restaurant, that's fine, but you have more fun at your local kid's pizza playing pinball. It can definitely be a successful icebreaker for small groups. A different environment may encourage some people to be vulnerable who have remained quiet previously.

8. Hand out articles and other resources that encourage people to thrive despite their illness. You can find fun items through the National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week website like "My illness is invisible but my hope shines through."

9. Listen to a recording of potential guest speakers before inviting them to speak if possible. Some can be quite depressing. Let guest speakers know that you'd like their presentation to be on the positive side despite the topic of illness. Tell them they are welcome to tell a joke, pass out props, or whatever will keep people listening and also encouraged.

10. The people in your group are quite amazing and able to make a difference. This is important for them to remember since they often feel so out of control. Your group may not be able to actually walk for charity, but they can likely work at a registration table, pass out bottles of water for a walk/run, or even just hand out presents to kids at the childrens hospital. Teens with chronic illness often get support groups can be great motivators for these kinds of outings. Find a project people are passionate about where they can see they are making a difference in the lives of others.

Support groups can provide some of the most influential relationships that can help one live successfully with chronic illness. The environment of the group, however, can make or break its usefulness. With these few simple tips, your group can be a refuge and a place of true relaxation, creating an special group for people to create friendships that could just last as long as the illness, perhaps indefinitely.