How To Help Grieving Teens Cope With Death

For grieving teens, the value of availability from their family and friends is what they really need especially in these trying times of mourning and death. When we talk about being available, I mean being approachable, caring, sympathetic and most of all, being appropriate—like stop saying some things offensive and jokes must be minimized—for now.

Teens and grieving are two most sensitive issues to deal with, since individuals at this stage in their lives are sensitive, how much more if they deal with the topic of death and bereavement. It’s more helpful if they have an adult caregiver, but their family and close friends can suffice if the grieving teens know that people close to them are always willing to talk to them anytime and no matter what it’s all about, just as long as they have someone to hear their hearts out.

Though you’re dealing with grieving teens, treat them as adults and talk to them as honestly as you can and this includes doing away with the use of euphemisms; for example, don’t refer to death as “passed away” or “left us”. Also, never assume that grieving teens would come to you and initiate a conversation.

They’re very vulnerable at this stage, and they’re be thankful if you ask them if they want to have a talk about whatever it is they want to open up. But then again, it’s perfectly fine if you’re being asked a difficult question and you don’t know how to answer it, so you can say, “I don’t know.” It’s better than trying to be pretentious that you know but in fact you don’t.

Most especially if they got some spiritual questions that’s way beyond your knowledge. It’s best to admit your limitations and seek the help of your spiritual professional such as your priest, rabbi, imam, minister, etc. If ever you’re teenager is expressing some beliefs or faith which is different from the traditional family customs, try your best not to react disapprovingly.

Bear in mind that some older teenagers may start to widen their own beliefs and faith practices to prepare themselves for potential losses in the future. And this may necessitate some religious “testing” of some sort on the teen’s part. If this happens, you can refer him/her to your local faith professional.

Grieving teens may also be susceptible to some sudden mood swings expressed at unexpected times. Hence, support groups and grief counseling are also helpful ways to cope with grief and loss.