What Minnesota Politicians Can Learn From New York Negotiators

If you've ever ridden in the car with kids, this is what you will hear at least once during a trip. "My way is best!" "No and mdash;MY way!" "MOOMM!"

The good news is that our kids DO grow up...

or do they?

Maybe they don't if they are Minnesota politicians. Right now our state is shut down. There has been a bitter battle between the two factions, and their games are costing us millions of dollars of wasted money and energy each day. We are in a Lose-Lose situation.

Like the kids in the car, each is convinced their way is the ONLY way...and they refuse to budge.

Yet not all politicians become polarized. Look at the leaders in New York. They negotiated an agreement on the extremely emotional topic of Gay Marriage. This topic has been defeated in other states. Why was it successful in New York? Are the Republicans in New York less passionate about this issue than other places in the country?

Just the opposite. New York Republicans are passionate, just as Minnesotans are. And instead of expensive gridlock, they learned from past mistakes and came up with a Win-Win solution.

The New York negotiators used a four-step, Win-Win Strategy.

Both Republican and Democrats took Win-Win to heart. They applied a four-step approach to their negotiations.

1. Define the Vision of Success. The New York Democrats learned from their past experience. The last time the Gay Marriage issue was brought up their goal was fuzzy. The members were not cohesive and aligned with one big vision. There were several factions within the group who had their own agenda. This lack of focus and a big picture outcome resulted in defeat.

This session was different. As the theme in the movie Drumline went, "one band, one sound." This alignment of "equal rights for all" allowed the Democratic participants to focus on creating a Win-Win outcome. They weren't distracted with internal squabbles.

2. Set a Shared Expectation. The New York negotiators set a combined expectation and commitment of Win-Win (not Win-Lose) at the beginning of the negotiation. Both parties create this shared vision together before working on the details.

This shared vision allowed them to step away from small details and stay focused on what was best for the state.

3. Identify The Other Groups' Priorities.
The third step the New York negotiators used is to look for what the other party really wants and why it is important. Both sides examined the details and looked at the outcome of their points. What other options can be found? In the New York case, the conservative churches were afraid of being forced to hold *** marriages at their facilities. The Democrats took this concern seriously. Together with Republicans, they crafted a portion of the law to protect the conservative churches from being forced into an uncomfortable situation.

4. Negotiate With Respect. Finally, both parties treat each other with respect. They don't "play games" for the media, or position themselves as the "injured party." They focus on the greater good and speak respectfully of each other. Look at past articles about the New York Gay Marriage negotiation. No one was criticizing the other.

Compare this to what is going on in Minnesota. I was listening to Public Radio today and The Speaker of the House, Kurt Zellers, called the other side "Liars!" Then went on to say how wounded Republicans were because they "gave so much but aren't appreciated."

Yes, they are human and emotions are involved. Yet both sides are pointing out how "right" they are and posing for the cameras.

Win-Win Negotiation isn't easy. The New York Negotiators made the necessary commitment. They used a structured four step process to lead their state wisely and provide "equal rights for all." And both Parties are able to point to their success.

Minnesota politicians have been at their negotiations for many months and have no end in sight. However the negotiations are resolved, both parties will lose in the court of public opinion.

The moral is: When politicians grow up and act like adults, they deliver the leadership we elected them for.