How To Quickly Get Over A Split-up Of Marriage

As the initial shock of your breakup wears off, you may find yourself in territory that is foreign or strange. When you share so much time and space with someone it's easy to lose touch with yourself. This is a common characteristic of co-dependent relationships.

If you've been espoused to someone for a long time, or have children together, you may routinely put the needs of others before your own. In any case, the fact that someone consumed such a large part of your time, space, and activities can leave a huge empty hole when you finally breakup. This may be manifested on an emotional level as you experience the lack of attention, adoration, and affection you were used to. Or, you may miss the more tangible experiences of time spent together and shared activities. Whatever the situation, your job is to fill that hole with positive, healthy things that will help you get over your ex and rebuild your own personality.

Taking a Personal Inventory

The final days, weeks, or months of a connection that is on a downward spiral can greatly damage your self-esteem. The bickering, fighting, and lonely evenings begin to take a heavy toll on your view of the world-and most importantly yourself.

It is important that you put an end to this as soon as possible. A friend of mine once offered me some amazing advice. It was shortly after an agonizing dissolution, I was dealing with the separation as well as moving through the depression stage. As usual, I was contemplating returning to the one again - off again hell and getting back together with my ex just so I wouldn't have to deal with these state of mind.

My self-esteem was at an all time low. I had gained close to 20 pounds, and was starting to think that maybe the relationship I had just left was all I was worthy of. After my friend shared her wisdom with me, I immediately realized that my thinking was a pile of ***. She simply said, "Jason, you need to realize your personal value and what you bring to the table." She began to itemize a long list of my positive nature.

As she went on and on, I couldn't help but smile. You know what? She was right. I am who I am, and I have a lot to offer someone. Sure, I let myself slip a bit in the final stages of the break up and shortly thereafter. But with a little focus, exercise, and attention to detail, I could be back on track in no time at all. It's very rare that we will actually reach up and pat ourselves on the back, or look in the mirror and focus on what is right with us. We tend to focus on what we don't have as opposed to what we do possess.

You possess individual characteristics, traits, and abilities that make you unique. Guess what? Those are the same traits that attracted the very ex who you are hurting over today. The fact that your ex has split does not change the reality that you still posses such unique characteristics. Your ex's departure did not rob you of who you are. You simply need to recapture yourself.