All good things come to an end...and a lot of things that seem to be good at the time can as well. One of the most common situations for anyone dating (at any age) is dealing with the pain and detritus of a relationship gone south.
First things first when you re dealing with the breakup, or the impending breakup, you aren t in your right mind. You re already grieving for something that s gone. And like grieving for anything, there are stages you go through. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
Now, before we even get into the tactics for how to deal with the break up, the first thing you need to understand is that the break up doesn t have to happen in the first place.
Or, if it already has, it doesn t have to be permanent! Far from it. In fact, if you ll go down to the bottom of this article, you ll see that I ve given you some links to a few resources that can actually help you win back your ex quickly and painlessly.
Definitely check this out.
Okay, back to how to survive a break up...
Don t make any lifelong decisions until you re through at least the first three steps of this.
Denial you can t believe he (or she) dumped you. You got the It s over
message, and you re doing anything you can to stay in contact. You re wondering if they re seeing someone else. It s ugly. It s like a part of you has been cut off.
Anger OK, you ve internalized the fact that they ve rejected you. Now you re going to act out on it. You re angry. You re frustrated. You re calling them and bawling them out (or just bawling.)
Bargaining Now you re trying to convince them that you re the right person for them. You re trying to bargain for any kind of contact. This is where a lot of men make mistakes in relationships, it s where they do the belly crawl, and their friends pity them.
Depression After you ve discovered that bargaining isn t working, there comes the point where you realize just how futile all of this has been, comes the depression. This is where you need to focus on doing other things and get past this. This is where your friends, if they re paying attention, will try to drag you out of the house.
Acceptance Eventually, you learn to move on.
Ways around this is to remember that the first four stages of this are degrading. They re where you re playing a reactive game. You ve lost the initiative. At this point, as soon as you can, focus on convincing the person who dumped you that you ve moved on with your life. That your life is fine without them. One of two things will happen they will either come back to you, or you ll short circuit the I m going to be an idiot phase of the breakup.
There are a lot of techniques to doing this, but the first thing to keep in mind is that relationships end, and you ll go on. Indeed, sometimes the best lessons you learn are from relationships that blow up
Until next time! |
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